No escape..

As I sit to write something, I hope, wish and pray I feel somewhat better at the conclusion of this post than what I'm feeling now.. We all have our bad days, our emotional moments, our teary eyed moments .. and I've been having one too many off late.. Call it hormonal imbalance, stress or plainly an over worked pessimistic thought process, I'm feeling bitterly low.. I'm unable to explain what I actually feel at this moment.. but whatever it is its giving me this feeling of utter helplessness.. I've always believed in defying the norms, fighting against all odds, rising from the ashes.. it just makes my adrenaline rush.. What is life without that little dash of excitement and fervor, without the little problems, disappointments, failures with the accompaniment of melodrama.. But.. for some people life is always a struggle.. life can certainly be cruel, merciless and tough.. I read somewhere this interesting quote.. 'Expecting life to treat you fairly because u r a good person is just like expecting a tiger not to eat u because u r a vegetarian..' hah! how true is that!

I knew this woman since my childhood. Their family lived the door next to ours. The woman was from a traditional orthodox family, coy and subdued. It was a joint family and she really had to toil hard from morning to evening with the never ending house chores. Then she gave birth to a son.. Unfortunately, the boy's both legs were affected with Polio.. I guess the poor woman blamed herself for this.. She would wake up early morning and massage the legs of the boy with oil and make him walk.. It was a painful process for someone to watch.. The woman did this for years together. She had three more children after the boy but she never shifted her focus from her first child.. This was about 10-15 years ago.. A few days ago, I heard the news that she expired. Upon inquiring I came to know she had cancer. She died bravely fighting the battle of her life against this deadly disease.. My heart goes out to this woman and her family.. and ever since I just cannot shake off the memories I have of her.. What a struggle this woman's whole life was..! Why? What was the purpose..? I know Allah knows best why there is so much pain and suffering in this world.. but I'm just appalled.. Didn't she deserve a better life? Didn't she deserve a better ending? I don't know.. nor will I ever know..

I read several cases of suicides in the papers daily. Such blatant misuse of the power Allah has bestowed upon us.. Tolerance levels in people have particularly declined.. today nobody wants to tolerate and be patient in the journey of life.. They want their wants and desires to realize quickly.. They cant take failures, financial crunches, illness, heart aches and broken love affairs.. They want all highs and no lows. And since that is impossible, they kill themselves. How unfortunate! Initially it angered me, I didn't feel any empathy towards such people who take their own life.. but now I think differently.. Killing oneself surely requires a lot of courage and I can only imagine how helplessness and lonely and trapped these people would have felt and what level they must have been pushed to.. to commit such a heinous crime against themselves.. Human beings are complicated creatures but however complicated they may be, all they seek is love and compassion. When material things are broken, they can be mended and it may not hurt as much.. but when dreams, hopes, aspirations are shattered, then maybe that must have been all that they had in their lives to look forward to.. The whole purpose of life diminishes and maybe thats what prompts them to take their own life.. I'm not defending suicide.. but I'm trying to explore the reasons behind it, expecting more empathy and patience.. more love and compassion for the people around us.. Is that so difficult to give away?

Here is this song for u.. Listen to it if u are in the mood for some tears..