Yaad-e-Mazi azaab hain Ya Rab..Cheen le mujhse hafiza mera..!!

Yeh Ehtaram-e-Tamanna, yeh Ehtiyat-e-Junoon,
Ke teri baat bhi karoon aur tera naam bhi na loon...!

Is se barh kar zabt ki inteha aur kya hogi 'Faraz',
Woh muhjse lipat ke ro raha tha kisi aur ke liye...!!!

Kuch tabiyat hi mili thi aisi chain se jeene ki soorat na hui,
Jis ko chaha use apana na sake, jo mila us se mohabbat na hui!

Bana lo usey apna jo tumhain chahta ho sanam ,
Khuda ki qasam bari mushkil se mila karte hain ye shiddat se chahne wale!

Jab saza de hi chuke ho to haal kya poochte ho zalim,
Hum agar be-gunah nikle to tumhe afsoos bahut hoga...!

Aag lagi hai mere ghar me bacha hi kya hain,
Maine kaha main bach gaya hoon us ne kaha phir jala hi kya hain..?

Aakar dekh mere dil me kabhi mouka jo mile tujhe 'Ajnabi',
Kitni fursat se bikhera hai tune aashiyana mera..!!

Kitna masoom sa lehja tha us ka 'Faraz',
Dheere se jaan keh kar Be-jaan kar gaya!

Tera rone se un ke dil par kuch asar na hoga 'Aadil',
Ehsaas to unko hota hai jo seene me dil rakhte hon....!

Sun kar tamam raat meri Dastaan-E-Ghum. . . !!!!
Woh muskura k bola bahot boltay ho tum...

Aaj kyu hitchkiyaa aayi dil-e-ajnabi mujhe,
shayad uss shakhs ne bhule se yaad kiya hai..!!

Main jaanta hoon kee yeh khwaab jhoote hain aur yeh khushiyaan adhuree hai,
Magar zinda rehne ke liye mere dost kuch galat fehmiyan zaroori hain!

Badnam hue hum sheher main jis ki wajah se 'Faraz',
Us shakhs ko jee bhar ke hum ne dekha bhi nahi hain..!

Has has ke sunati hain jahan bhar ke fasane,
Poocho tere baare main to ro deti hain baarish!

Meri aankhen bhi ek din ab mujh se keh dengi 'Mohsin',
Khwab mai us ko dekh kar ab hum se roya nai jata.........!!

Hum to us waqt se darte hain ke koi pooch na le..
Yeh agar zabt ka aansoon hain to tapka kaise?????

Jo hairaan hain tumhare zabt par keh do 'Qateel' unse,
Jo daman par nahi girta woh aansoo dil pe girta hain..!

Wo mujh se bichar kar aab tak nahi roya 'Faraz',
Koi to hain humdard jo usey rone nahi deta.....

Ab tujhey aur kya doon main apni wafaon ka saboot,
Ke ab mere haal par hanste hain tere shehar ke log!

Wafa ki aakhri had se guzar liyaa jaaye,
Sitamgaron ke mohalle main ghar liya jaaye!

Dafnaane se pehle mere dil ko nikal lena 'Faraz'
Kahin khaak main na mil jaye mere dil main rehne wala

Najane kis baat pe woh hum se naraaz hai 'Mohsin',
Khwab main bhi milta hai to baat nahi karta..!

Haath zakhmi hue kuch apni hi khata thi,
Maine khismat ki lakeeron ko mitana chaha....!

Tum jismon ke libason pe ho nazan,
Humne roohon ko bekafan hote dekha hai...!

Jab chalay the ghar se to raaston main tanha the,
Tum mile phir gham mile phir qafila sa ban gaya..!

Tark-e-ta'luq ko to sirf ik lamha chahiye,
lekin tamaam umr hum to bus sonchte rahe..!

Tanhai to hain saathi apni zindagi ke har pal ki yaaron,
Chalo yeh shikwa bhi door hua ke kisi ne saath na diya......!

Iss zindagi nay cheen li hain mujhse sharartain meri,
Aur Log Samajhte hain keh bohat sulajh gayi hoon main..!!

Hazaron aib dekhte hain dosron ke pehlu mein 'Ghalib',
Apne kirdaar mein humlog farishtey hon jaise!

Main is liye b apni khwahishaat ko turk kardeta hoon 'Wasi',
Mujhey aksar woh nahi milta jo meri khwahish ban jaye.

Zindagi se hum kuch udhar nahi lete 'Faraz',
Kafan bhi lete hain to zindagi dekar...!

Umr guzri hain jhulaste hue sehraon main,
Kya karenge teri deewar ka sahara lekar..?

Najane us ke dil main mehfilen aabaad hon kitni,
Akela jo bhi baitha ho usey tanha nahi kehte..!

Yun khaali palken jhuka dene se neend nahi aati,
Sukoon se sote to woh log hain jin ke liye koi jaag raha ho..!

'Ajnabi' us ke chehre main chupe dard ko mehsoos to kar,
Woh to has has kar yunhi khud ko saza deta hain!

Jab main dooba to samandar ko bhee hairat hui 'Sahil',
Ajeeb shakhs hai kisi koo pukarta hi nahin....!!

Na jaanay kyu woh log utar jaate hain dil main,
Jin logon say qismat ke sitaray nahi milte........!

Har aib sahi mujh main magar aaj bhi mujh ko,
Apnon se badal jane ka andaaz nahi aaya!

Bohat se raaste aate hein mere dil ki taraf,
Raah-e-Khuloos se aana tum fasla kam padheyga....!

Deewana has raha hain to has lene do yaaron
Bechara baith kar tanhai main roya bhi bahut hain!

Deewar kia giri meray khasta makaan ki,
Logon ne mere sehan main rastey bana liye...

Rabten hadh se bardh jaaye to gham milte hain
Is liye hum auron se zara kam milte hain!

Do chaar nahi faqt mujhe ek dikha do,
Bahar se koi shakhs andar ki tarah ho..!

Is tashnagi ke saath ke aayegi ab bahaar,
Hum ne tamaam umr bita di khiza ke sang!

Madad kyon maangte ho 'Ghalib' auron ke darbar se....
Woh kounsa kaam hain jo hota nahi tere Parwardigaar se...

In pursuit of happiness..

As I'm aging, I realize happiness has started eluding me all the more.. The more I run after it, the more faster it runs ahead of me.. Also as the years have passed by, I have become more and more philosophical.. thinking and analyzing how I have lead my life.. looking back over my shoulder at the years gone by.. pondering and reminiscing, the past memories.. which sometimes make me smile and fill up my heart with warmth and light.. and at times.. I feel a deep regret.. a very helpless feeling for just letting situations take the better of me.. for not taking certain routes.. for not taking the risks.. for not listening to my heart.. for being a face lost in the crowd.. and then I finally ask myself.. so many years of my life.. maybe almost half of my entire life on this earth.. and where do I stand on the scale of my actions? What is the most commendable thing I have done so far? Does my good deeds outweigh my bad deeds or is it vice versa? Am I happy? Am I satisfied..? Have I achieved that eternal peace which I so craved for, all my life?

Today we have the best of everything readily available, yet the reality is we have nothing. Nothing that comforts the soul. Beautiful furnishings do not hold our hand in the darkest night. The latest entertainment devices does not wipe our tears or soothe our furrowed brow. Those of us living with pain and grief, or afflicted with hardship feel abandoned. We feel rudderless on an open sea. Huge waves threaten to engulf us at any given moment. Our desires and debts stand at the apex and loom over us, like great avenging angels, and we search for comfort in addictions and self-destructive behavior. The life of this world is but a fleeting moment, sometimes overflowing with moments of great joy and happiness but at other times filled with sadness, sorrow, and despair. This is the nature of life.

Happiness I believe is just a state of mind.. U are as happy or sad as u think u are.. Everyone.. be it a believer or an unbeliever seek to be happy, and each one uses different methods.. Only believers can achieve genuine happiness.. All forms of happiness attained without a firm belief in God the Almighty and the last day of judgment, are mere illusions.. The following are tips for the attainment of happiness:

1. Know that if you do not live within the scope of today, your thoughts will be scattered, your affairs will become confused, and your anxiety will increase. These realities are explained in the following hadith:

“When you are in the evening, do not expect to see themorning, and when you are in the morning, do not expect to see the evening.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

2. Forget the past and all that it contained, focus on the present.

3. Do not completely preoccupy yourself with the future and then discard the present. Be balanced in life, prepare yourself adequately for all situations.

4. Do not be shaken by criticism; instead, be firm. Be sure that in proportion to your worth, the level of people's criticism rises. Also, make good use of criticism in discovering your shortcomings and faults, and let it drive you toward self-improvement.

5. Have complete faith in God and perform good deeds; these are the ingredients that makeup a good and happy life.

6. If you desire peace, tranquility, and comfort, you can find it all in the remembrance of God.

7. You should know with certainty that everything that happens, occurs in accordance with the divine decree.

8. Do not expect gratitude from anyone.

9. Train yourself to be prepared for the worst possibility.

10. Perhaps what has happened is in your best interest, even though you may not comprehend how that can be so.

11. Everything that is decreed for the believer is the best for him.

12. Enumerate the blessings of God and be thankful for them.

13. Remember that you are better off than many others.

14. Relief comes from one hour to the next. Indeed, with each difficulty there is relief.

15. In both times of hardship and ease, one should turn to supplication and prayer, either patiently contented or thankful.

16. Calamities should strengthen your heart and reshape your outlook in a positive way.

17. Do not let trivialities be the cause of your destruction.

18. Always remember that your God is Oft-Forgiving.

19. Assume an easy-going attitude and avoid anger. Anger has never done anything good to anyone.

20. Life is bread, water, and shade; so do not be perturbed by a lack of any other material thing.

“And in the heaven is your providence and that which you are promised.” (Quran 51:22)

21. A daunting evil that seemingly will happen usually never occurs.

22. Look at those who have more afflictions and be grateful that you have less.

23. Bear in mind the fact that God loves those who endure trials with steadfastness, so seek to be one of them.

24. Constantly repeat those supplications that the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, taught us to say during times of hardship.

25. Work hard at something that is productive, and cast off idleness.

26. Know that your malice and your striving to seek revenge are much more harmful to your health than they are to your antagonist.

27. The hardships that befall you atone for your sins, if you endure with patience.

Lastly I think this video does justice to the word 'grateful and happy'..

Call it laziness, lethargy, sloth or simply an aversion..

Yes.. 10 posts lying in the drafts.. innumerable attempts to resuscitate one post time and again [I'm not going to tell u which one.. until I actually succeed in publishing it one day inshallah], I have become absolutely lethargic and disinterested. Its not writer's block.. I'm sure of it! Then what is it??? Why do I always feel soo %&$%#@$%% when I sit to write... See I cant even properly phrase what I'm going through..

Like all women, I cannot keep a secret within me.. I cannot fake my moods.. I cannot lie through my teeth.. I cannot say 'Aaal izz welll' when its not.. and for heaven sake... don't even expect me to be all happy and normal when things aren't going my way.. All u need to do is nudge me and ask me.. whats wrong in a cajoling manner and I will confide it all..

I think I'm lacking a purpose in life and that's what making me so restless.. I sit and watch life passing me by.. I have always maintained that my life's greatest accomplishments are my children and I still stand by it.. However at times monotony sets it and I begin to feel worthless and directionless.. At such times, and in the worst of my moods.. all that can give me solace and make me misty eyed is one hug and one kiss from my honey bunches. The way they melt into my being and kiss me to acknowledge that they value my presence in their lives is the best possible gift I could have got from them.

It makes me more determined and gives me a new lease of life.. I shall ensure that I give the best possible values and upbringing a mother can ever give to her children for their physical, mental and religious well being.. [inshallah! god willing!] I've seen career oriented women.. women in the topmost positions of their career, quit it all to become home makers and raise their children.. and I truly believe its worth it! I also believe that like charity.. moral education starts at home.. A mother is the very first teacher of a child.. and it solely depends on her as to what kind of a human the child will eventually grow up to be. Teach and impart her kindness, compassion, courtesy, manners, empathy.. and she will never be able to discard those values from her being.. Be apathetic to her.. be harsh and give her a cold shoulder.. u can be sure she will turn out to be cold hearted.. I wish and pray I can become a very good mother even if I'm a not great shakes in all other spheres of my life..

Dedicated to the apple of my eyes.. my sweethearts.. my children.. Mamma loves u both to death and will always do.. [inshallah!]