Life in the US of A ;)

My below post is meant for U if u meet the below criteria:
1. U r single ( n ready to mingle.. :))

2. U r an educated, good looking FEMALE living in India.

3. Ur parents are looking out for prospective matches for u and NRIs are their first choice.. (but obviously..:p)

4. Ur matrimonial Ad runs on these lines: 'Alliance invited for our daughter who is doing her Masters, age 22 yrs, color very fair, height 5ft 6inches, slim and very beautiful from boys who are well educated Preferably (BE/MS/MBBS/MCA) and Well settled/ Studying in India/Abroad (Preferably USA) age below 28 yrs.' (Real Ad I picked from a matrimonial site.. LOL)

5.U are mesmerized by the word 'USA'. U think America is the land of opportunity with tall sky rise buildings, electronic gadgets and wonderful carefree, independent life.. (like they show in the movies :))

6.U want to be among the elite club of ur other friends who are married to NRIs settled in 'Amreeka' and are always dreaming about the good life they portray :)

7.U dress up impeccably and put in that 'extra' effort of putting on ur best make-up and are at ur best behaviour, when a meeting is scheduled with the 'guy' from USA ;)

My dear Lady.. U've just come to the right blog.. lol.. read on.. This is what the future holds for u.. Brutal facts of life in USA for dependents who arrive with their working husbands :)

1. U live in a one/two bedroom apartment. U miss ur palatial house back in India having 4/5 bedrooms, the veranda and the balcony and what not.. u miss the wind blowing on ur face.. the smell of rain on the wet sand and basically any good company..

2. U find making friends here is not as easy as u thought.. n exchanging smiles with fellow Indians wont do u any good either..

3. U realize u have to cook, clean, wash the dishes, clean the bathroom, vacuum the carpet, dispose the garbage n basically do every teeny weeny little task all by urself which u thought only befitted a maid servant back in India..

4. Every week ur husband drives u to a nearby Indian grocery store and u buy essential groceries for the week and then to Walmart for essential living supplies.. LOL! That is all u get in the name of an outing.

5. U go to huge big malls once in a while.. which sell very beautiful and very expensive stuff and the moment u lay ur eyes on it, u feel u have to have it...the stuff is indispensable.. But unfortunately ur husband rudely shakes u back into reality.. so all u can do is touch and see the stuff n trudge back home empty handed..

6. Whenever u visit any places of interest or landmarks, the first thing u do is carry a digital camera and take loads of pictures to send to ur family and friends as if u r having the time of ur life, irrespective of the fact that u r not having any fun, u don't like the boring place and the temperature is terribly hot or unbearably cold that day..

7. U love the snow on the first day it snows.. u take pictures.. u play with it..
Day 2: U still like it but don't know when ur driveway will be cleaned and when u can drive somewhere without feeling bitterly cold..
Day 4: U don't like it as much.
Day 7: U just don't like it when it snows.
Day 14: U HATE SNOW. period!

8. U go to an Indian Restaurant and expect a hearty Indian meal but all u get in the name of authentic Indian cuisine is lousy food prepared by lousy chefs.. u cant eat a morsel coz u expect the same taste u get in restaurants back in India.. U r disappointed in Indian restaurants in USA and vow never to eat at those, whose reviews who haven't read online :(

9. U have to keep repeating whatever u say to help desk people or any American u meet, coz they don't understand ur Indian accent and whatever u r trying to tell them.. U have to get the hang of speaking veryyyy slowly and clearly or with a fake accent or u helplessly resort to.. 'My name is Armina.. A for America, R for Russia.. M for Mississippi.. ' and so on..

10. U get into the habit of smiling and saying 'Hi, how are u!' before starting any conversation and it will strangely give u unwanted stares when u go back to India and say the same thing to a fellow Indian..

11. U are so dependent on the GPS that u use it even for driving to the next lane and if the GPS directs u wrongly into a one way street, u involuntarily make the turn coz the lady's voice in the GPS said so..

12. U never throw any garbage on the streets like u used to do in India. Never.

13. U watch loads of English channels and get tired of looking at the bare bodies.. the swearing and the lack of any scruples..

14. U walk to the nearby park.. the nearby eatery or whatever place there is nearby and all u see is loads and loads of Indians (south indians to be specific).. like they say..' Water water everywhere.. but not a drop to drink..' LOL!

15. U hated cereal and bread back in India.. Now it is ur favourite breakfast..

16. U loved long drives back in India.. here u will find urself getting carsick very often.

17. U miss India when u r in America and desperately want to go back.. and when u finally do.. u feel u don't belong there anymore.. U find urself out of place.. u want to come back to USA coz u got used to life here.. and then when u r finally back here.. u again want to go back to India.. :((

So dear lady.. r u grateful to me for being so brutally honest or u want to ignore it all coz u r still starry eyed about Amreeka??? Or u think ur life will be different here? LOL.. ! Wishful thinking haan?

Am I going Insane?

I know there is a streak of insanity and madness in all of us.. in fact I’ve seen so many crazy people in my life that I’ve begun to wonder if ‘normal’ is just a myth.. if u know what I mean ;) Now all the craziness around me has taken a toll on me.. I’m like this woman possessed.. One minute I’m all happy and gay (not literally of course) and the other minute I’m sniffing and sobbing my lungs out at the drop of a hat.. This has become so frequent that I’m seriously beginning to feel that I’m going insane.. So one fine day I decide that there has to be name for the emotional roller coaster ride I’m riding on day in and out.. And what the heck.. even if it doesn't have a name I'm going to make sure I give it a name so that at least I can properly phrase the 'mental illness' with a difficult to comprehend name when someone asks me whats wrong with me these days.. LOL!

Firstly I try googling ‘Multiple personality disorder’ (I heard a lot about it on TV;) and came up with the definition ‘multiple personality disorder is the belief on the part of the patient that several personalities seem to exist within the self.’ Yeah I thought.. I like this definition.. what more? Then it said ‘One of the main characteristics of multiple personality disorder is that people seem to “lose” time. They seem unaware that time has passed. The afflicted tends to have no idea what has occurred. Other symptoms of multiple personality disorder include depression, confusion, suicidal thoughts, phobias, differing levels of ability to function “normally,” anxiety, and self-medication, such as alcoholism or drug abuse.'
Whoa whoa whoa.. I was trying to evoke sympathy from people and certainly not trying to scare them away.. MPD seemed a very bad idea now... NEXTTT..!

Next on my list was ‘Schizophrenia' .. yes.. I’ve heard a lot about this.. lets look it up..The definition said ‘Any of a group of severe mental disorders that have in common symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, blunted emotions, disorganized thinking, and withdrawal from reality.’ I thought that’s not bad at all.. Except the hallucinations and the delusions.. I seem to be experiencing all of the other things.. so I read on.. the next it said.. ‘People with schizophrenia sometimes hear voices others don’t hear, believe that others are broadcasting their thoughts to the world, or become convinced that others are plotting to harm them.’
What????? Why does schizophrenia have to be so complicated.. Yes that’s correct.. I always believe 'some people' are plotting against me.. but I don’t always believe that all of the people at all times are plotting against me.. hah! there are limits to my craziness.. now this ‘schizophrenia’ doesn't fit the bill either.. shucks.. what a waste of my time....:(

Next I looked at ‘Post partum depression..’ ‘Bipolar disorder’ and the likes.. Each of these mental disorders seemed to have so much common with what I’m was going through and yet I was still not there completely.. So I’m back to square one.. but I’m not ready to give it up.. my search continues.. ‘Panic Attacks, Post Traumatic Stress Disorders, Agoraphobia, Manic-depression, Obsessive compulsive disorders, Histrionic disorder, Narcissistic disorder, so on and so forth……Any other ideas folks? Do I hear u say I'm simply crazy.. LOL..

PS: Those of u who know me personally.. dont freak out.. I'm perfectly normal with normal people around me ;)

Rest In Peace.. Amen!

Many many years ago when I was a school going kid.. I was the most intelligent girl in my class but wasn't quite as 'smart' as the ones now are ;) Back in 19** (u thought I was going to give u the year.. hah! dint u?) all my world existed of was books.. books and more books.. To date my friends tease me about my 'nerdy' behavior.. Infact one of my closest friends told me recently that the impression she had of me back in school was that I was such a snob coz I was the topper.. lol.. Now that I recall those days.. I don't think she was wrong..

The reason why I'm taking u down memory lane is because of this English teacher of mine. Her name was Mrs. Reena Rosario. A few days ago I came to know that she expired. She wasn't old.. Infact she must have been 40 something. I didn't know if I was shocked.. I never thought I would mention anything about her in MY blog.. but I had to.. Coz I want her out of my system. I want the haunting to be over and done with.

English was my favourite subject in school. I loved the language. I took part in elocutions, debates.. wrote essays and absolutely loved to gain command over the language. However since I liked the language I would also love all my English teachers. Now Mrs. Reena Rosario didn't quite reciprocate the feeling.. I don't know why a couple of my teachers hated me in spite of the fact that I did so well in class.. LOL.. Now that I think of it.. I feel that was hugely because I would not be a sycophant.. I just didn't know the sweet charming ways of buttering people up..

Ok.. so now one fine day she sits in the class doing some work and assigning all of us something to do.. here we are grouped up and given an assignment and we are all busy doing it.. All of a sudden I heard a scream.. Mrs. Reena is in a fit of rage. Apparently someone has thrown a pen refill at her and it dropped a few paces short of her.. LOL.. Now she is trying to figure out who did it. I never quite understood why she was staring at me.. until I realized.. 'What.. she is suspecting me of it..!' And boy.. was I right? Now she had all this pent up anger in her and she thought what better way to let it out than to blame someone she hated and she calls out my name and the names of two other of my friends sitting next to me.. We are made to stand for the rest of her class and asked to confess..

Now why the hell would we confess when we haven't done anything.. so all three of us take her punishment and refuse to confess.. This makes her so mad.. she thinks we are plotting against her and so she comes up with the novel idea of making us stand in each of her classes.. and she did have one or two classes everyday.. poor me and my friends.. LOL..

I guess she continued doing this for a good fortnight or so.. until she became tired.. She then called me in the recess to the staff room.. I was so happy that she at last saw through it and came to know that I didn't do it.. She calls me and says.. 'I will stop punishing u if u just tell me the truth. Tell me u did it and I will let u off..' LOL.. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.. I was a child then and being absolutely innocent I thought it wouldn't be right to take the blame for something u haven't done.. I didn't know it was the best thing then.. Atleast she would let me live peacefully.. :))

Well.. sadly.. I never took the blame.. (those of u who are thinking I must have really done it.. Let me clarify once and for all.. FOR THE RECORD.. I DID NOT DO IT).. So after some days she stops her punishments.. but I was still very very shaken up by it. I was punished for something which I didn't do and I didn't like it one bit. I wasn't getting rest until I found out who did it.. but that was impossible.. I could never find that out.. though I had suspicions.. but no proof.. :)

After all these years.. those punishments were fresh in my mind. I hardly forget or forgive people who make me go through hell for no fault of mine :) I always thought that one day I would go back to the school.. I would go back to her and tell her.. 'Ma'm I did not do it..!' And maybe she would believe me after all these years.. But then when I heard she was no more.. I just felt so empty.. I felt she had deceived me.. she never gave me the chance to explain and make her trust me.. I didn't know why but the thought kept haunting me.. I thought about all the other people who were mad at me or who I was mad at.. and how we just see one side of the coin.. we never give them a second chance.. we never believe them.. never realize how our one little 'mistake' is going to scar their soul forever.. Though Mrs. Reena is no more.. she taught me a valuable lesson in life.. she taught me to trust people sometimes putting all my malices behind.. she taught me to give second chances before its too late.. and I shall remain grateful to her for that..

Rest in peace Ma'm.. !