Am I going Insane?

I know there is a streak of insanity and madness in all of us.. in fact I’ve seen so many crazy people in my life that I’ve begun to wonder if ‘normal’ is just a myth.. if u know what I mean ;) Now all the craziness around me has taken a toll on me.. I’m like this woman possessed.. One minute I’m all happy and gay (not literally of course) and the other minute I’m sniffing and sobbing my lungs out at the drop of a hat.. This has become so frequent that I’m seriously beginning to feel that I’m going insane.. So one fine day I decide that there has to be name for the emotional roller coaster ride I’m riding on day in and out.. And what the heck.. even if it doesn't have a name I'm going to make sure I give it a name so that at least I can properly phrase the 'mental illness' with a difficult to comprehend name when someone asks me whats wrong with me these days.. LOL!

Firstly I try googling ‘Multiple personality disorder’ (I heard a lot about it on TV;) and came up with the definition ‘multiple personality disorder is the belief on the part of the patient that several personalities seem to exist within the self.’ Yeah I thought.. I like this definition.. what more? Then it said ‘One of the main characteristics of multiple personality disorder is that people seem to “lose” time. They seem unaware that time has passed. The afflicted tends to have no idea what has occurred. Other symptoms of multiple personality disorder include depression, confusion, suicidal thoughts, phobias, differing levels of ability to function “normally,” anxiety, and self-medication, such as alcoholism or drug abuse.'
Whoa whoa whoa.. I was trying to evoke sympathy from people and certainly not trying to scare them away.. MPD seemed a very bad idea now... NEXTTT..!

Next on my list was ‘Schizophrenia' .. yes.. I’ve heard a lot about this.. lets look it up..The definition said ‘Any of a group of severe mental disorders that have in common symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, blunted emotions, disorganized thinking, and withdrawal from reality.’ I thought that’s not bad at all.. Except the hallucinations and the delusions.. I seem to be experiencing all of the other things.. so I read on.. the next it said.. ‘People with schizophrenia sometimes hear voices others don’t hear, believe that others are broadcasting their thoughts to the world, or become convinced that others are plotting to harm them.’
What????? Why does schizophrenia have to be so complicated.. Yes that’s correct.. I always believe 'some people' are plotting against me.. but I don’t always believe that all of the people at all times are plotting against me.. hah! there are limits to my craziness.. now this ‘schizophrenia’ doesn't fit the bill either.. shucks.. what a waste of my time....:(

Next I looked at ‘Post partum depression..’ ‘Bipolar disorder’ and the likes.. Each of these mental disorders seemed to have so much common with what I’m was going through and yet I was still not there completely.. So I’m back to square one.. but I’m not ready to give it up.. my search continues.. ‘Panic Attacks, Post Traumatic Stress Disorders, Agoraphobia, Manic-depression, Obsessive compulsive disorders, Histrionic disorder, Narcissistic disorder, so on and so forth……Any other ideas folks? Do I hear u say I'm simply crazy.. LOL..

PS: Those of u who know me personally.. dont freak out.. I'm perfectly normal with normal people around me ;)